Little Wren

 Her 1st birthday is this month and before my tiny baby is gone forever I have to throw some pictures up here so I can remember this time. It's still so clear to me the feelings that I had this time last year.  I was so tired and overwhelmed with the 4 kids I already had.  I remember crying late at night to John that I just didn't really want her to come out.  I know what babies are like and the thought of one more crying, whining, needy kid was just more than I thought I would be able to bear.  Those last couple months of that pregnancy were very very dark for me.  The worst I've ever felt.  But then the time came and the delivery was perfect and she had that little angel face and calm spirit.

I felt like a different person coming home from the hospital.  Not only about 10 lbs. lighter but all that weight of anxiety and self doubt were gone.  Those first 3 or 4 months she was attached to me 24 hours a day.  I wore her in my little moby wrap all day long and then she slept tucked in my arm all night.  There were of course lots of times were all 5 kids were hungry or tired all at the same time but we just figured out our way. 

It's interesting what a baby does to a family.  Sometimes we can hardly stand the sight of each other but we all feel the same way about Wren.  We are all, every one of us, crazy over the moon in love with her.  It's common ground.

Then, boom, it's been a whole year.

 I mean, don't get me wrong, I love each and every one of my kids.  But that Wren.....that part of my heart kinda hurts just thinking about her.  She is like a little burst of light in my day.  I don't know if it's because she is most likely my last baby or if it's just her happy little smile but she makes me so much better.

So every little milestone she reaches is a huge celebration over here.  The little steps and the words she tries to makes and the way she giggles when we tickle her tummy are met with cheers and hugs and high fives from her brothers and sisters.

 She has got to be the most loved little sister in the world.

 So anyway, thank you Wren for saving me when I thought I absolutely couldn't go on and making me fall in love with motherhood again.  You are the best.