Kidney Infections

 I knew exactly what was wrong when I woke up Tuesday night shivering.  At first I thought I was just cold and I tried to cuddle up to John but that wasn't helping.  So I asked him to go grab the down comforter but I still couldn't get warm.  My body wouldn't stop shaking and my teeth wouldn't stop chattering, even when I would push on my jaw, still shaking.  Finally, at about 3 am, I got up and stumbled into the bathroom to take a shower to try to get warm.  I was in there for about 15 minutes before the shaking finally stopped.  The next morning I woke up with a fever of 103.  I got to the Dr. first thing in the morning, threw up all over their office
and it was determined that it was another kidney infection.

The problem was the infection was moving so fast and aggressively that the Dr. was afraid that an antibiotic that is safe for breast feeding wouldn't be strong enough so I got a shot in my hip and pills for a week.  But if I didn't feel better by day 2 I would need to go to the hospital.  That first day laying in my bed was the worst.  John got Wren some formula but she was not happy about it.  She cried more that day then she ever has in her entire little life.  She was just miserable as my poor husband paced around the house with her and tried to keep the other kids out of my room.  I couldn't eat, I couldn't move, I couldn't sleep.  Just torture myself that I wasn't able to feed or take care of my poor little baby who must be so scared.  That day was all head games.  I tried to tell myself that I would find a way to get through this, meanwhile summoning all the strength I could find to pump every 3 hours so I don't lose my milk. That night John called his sister and she gave us some of her pumped milk.  So at about 11 pm John wrapped Wren up and brought her to me with that bottle of breast milk and I put her right next to me in bed like we usually sleep and held her really tight while I fed her that bottle, and then I started to feel better.  The next morning I felt like a new person.  Everyday since then has been a hundred times better. I've been able to figure out a schedule to keep up with the feeding and pumping:

Then my friend loaned me a swing to try.  It changed everything for us.  I usually wear Wren for the majority of the day.  Now though, I hold her until she falls asleep then she'll sleep for another 2 or 3 hours in that thing.  It's a miracle and has made it possible for me to get all that annoying pumping in. 
Plus we rotate putting it in each of the kids rooms at night and they just love being able to sleep with her.  They think it's the coolest thing.

It's funny how you think something is going to be impossible to get through and you just want to give up and it ends up not being so bad at all.  That's how this has all been.  There has even been some cool things.  Like Lottie getting to feed Wren.  They both love that. 
I'm just thankful for a strong body that can recover and cool kids and a really really really amazing husband.