My house is in a constant state of disaster lately. A level I never thought I would sink too. My toilets are an embarrassment, my laundry piles have overflowed their containers and the carpet under the dining room table is a disgrace. As in, kiss our security deposit goodbye kind of disgrace. I don't even know how it's happened since we only have about 1/16th of our possessions in this little apartment and I clean everything up every night before I go to bed, religiously.
The only thing I can figure is that I'm finally giving in to my life as a mother. I've fought it for years thinking I was still me -- plus a few kids. But I'm really not me. I'm them. I hope to find me again someday but for now I am just going to live out my days sitting on the living room floor with my kids crawling all over me working on puzzles or race tracks. It's just too much to do anything more. I think it's a good thing too because if I had been busy cleaning up the junk all over the counter in the kitchen or the crackers all over the floor I would have missed this awesome moment between my boys.
Or I might have missed Lottie gazing lovingly at her line up of Book of Mormon characters on the couch.
4 comments:
ok so I have commented only a few times before on your blog, but every time I read it, it reminds me soooo much of my life 6 years ago!!
I totally know how you are feeling being pregnant, it too cold to go outside, and husband being gone all the time with only 1/4th of you possessions.
My husband was a cargo pilot and so we moved every 6 months for three years, only taking a small amount of what we had. We lived in North Dakota one winter and it got to -35 for a week with lots of snow. I was like you, trying to keep the little ones busy, not really needing to get dressed because we were never going out and being pregnant.
As I read your blog, you amaze me with the things you come up with. I am also so much like you with the cleaning thing, yes there is a point where we just have to give in a little and pick and choose what we do, you can't do everything!!
You are making great memories with your little family, and I so admire you how you are putting those "mom" things aside to be right on the ground with your little guys.
So if you are feeling frustrated and sick of winter, just remember that I think you are doing an amazing job doing what is important... enjoying life.
Sorry this is so long, I have just wanted to tell you this for a while ;)
Tell John hi, oh ya, I am an old friend from HS, I love checking in on your blog from time to time, it is always a good read. ;)
I'm impressed you've held out this long! I gave up "myself" about three years ago, before my first one was born and I was too tired and pregnant to do much of anything. :) I do the nightly routine cleaning, too, but things like toilets and laundry happen when I can get to them or when it's needed for hygienic purposes (whichever comes first). I think we'll find ourselves again someday, but even then we'll be different. It reminds me of a book I saw and want to read when that time comes called The Girlfriend's Guide to Getting Your Groove Back. The author is a really funny lady and she says how you know the time has come to get back into yourself (somewhat) when you say to your kids, "Let's get in the car," and they can all get in, buckle themselves, and be ready to go. I read another book by her called The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy. Anyway, hang in there! We're all in this together. :)
Thank you for this post! Now I don't feel so abnormal. I've been meaning to get to my toilets for over a week and they still need a cleaning and yesterday....yes I stayed in my sweatpants all day long. I don't know if I'm exactly feeling like you, but I definitely have those days and I think being pregnant makes a big difference, because you are ALWAYS tired...at least I am. By the way my kids love playing with those Book of Mormon characters too :)
Bless your heart. It is so hard to be the mom. I think you're doing a wonderful job and you are just so cute and stylish - yes, even when you're pregnant.
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