We drove up to Chicago to go to the temple this weekend. It was a ward temple trip and so they had a whole army of ward members stationed at the stake center there with tons of activities for our kids so that the adults could go and not worry about them.
We decided to to get a hotel there and make a little vacation out of it. The upside of my husband traveling so much for work is that he racks up points all over the place so we had a fancy rental car and a really fancy hotel room all for free. But my kids were awful. They fought with each other almost the entire way to Chicago. Then our GPS stopped working right outside the city so their crying got really annoying. After we picked them up from the Stake Center we took them to Costco to get a hot dog while John tried to exchange our GPS. By the time he came over to our table with the new one I was about ready to scream. We were that family with way too many obnoxious, messy, crying kids. The day just kept going on and on like that until we finally got them tucked into bed at our hotel.
The next day was a little better. We took them to a fun park and then back to the hotel for some more swimming and then we headed home. We ended up having to put charlie between Jack and Lottie in the car so they'd leave each other alone. They did, but they turned all their attention to playing with Charlie. He has it the worst sometimes---two kids in your face for three and a half hours straight would take a toll on anyone. 
So here's my question--how do you find joy in parenthood? I have been struggling lately with enjoying it. That's embarrassing to admit and of course I love my children but I feel like I'm white knuckling it right now. I don't want to endure this phase- I want to love it.
Any advice would be great...
9 comments:
On my worst days I just have to realize that it's not always going to be fun and I can get overwhelmed sometimes but still have an overall good day (or week, or month...). I also find that sometimes, when I'm upset and cranky and it's making the kids act up even more, it's time to take a break and just do something they'll love. Laughter is the best medicine, after all. Like playing chase, or a tickle session, or watching a movie for example. I don't know if I've offered anything new to you, but there it is. Sometimes we have to live our lives in those Kodak moments to get us through the rough times, I guess.
"Phase" says it all!!! Just scroll back some of your earlier blogs and relive some of the "joy" moments. I think you are a terrific mom and there are many more phases to go through...some good some not so good. Raising my boys alone (except for the village of course)we had our moments. I am however very proud of the men they have become.
Yeah I know how that goes and how that feels. I struggle with the same things! We had a day like that today in fact......with the kids whining and crying and throwing tantrums in the store, ect. So I too am trying to figure out how to enjoy motherhood. I feel so selfish sometimes because I feel this way. Any conference talks that are on motherhood usually help me feel better and help me refocus on what really matters and what's really important. In fact I really love Elder M. Russell Ballard's talk "Mothers and Daughters" from this past conference. You're a great mom Brielle and your kids are beautiful and bright! We're so excited to see you guys again this summer. How long are you going to be staying? Are you guys going to be around for Lake Alice?
Ummm. My advice for traveling is get a DVD player to go in your car. Well worth the money. As to enjoying motherhood with three little kids. Sometimes it's really hard. Ok, let's be honest. All the time it's really hard. I just try to have a really consistent schedule and that's how I make it through. Also, there is a really good book called, "The Potentially Sane Mother's Guide to Raising Young Children" by Tamara Fackrell. It's a great book with lots of good ideas. Try to get out of the house every day. Hire someone to come be with your kids so you can run errands alone. Go to bed early so you're not tired. That's my advice. Hope it helps. :)
Sounds like one of our trips. For your grandpa Cella's funeral we were delayed on the freeway for 30 minutes because of a major car accident half a mile ahead of us. We just sat there for 30 minutes with no way off, but we were still going to make it on time because we had left 30 minutes early. Just as we got off the freeway, Sean threw up all over himself and his car seat. We stopped at ShopKo to clean it up and ended up being late for the funeral. Things never go as planned with kids. Oh and Zak and Madeline can NEVER sit next to each other in the car.
I have to echo most of what has been said to you Brielle. You just have to "get thru it", it seems like forever at the time, but time does go too quickly. Just hang in there sweet girl of mine. It could be worse, you could be struggling with fertility to even have one of them. This too shall pass and not too very long in the future you will be saying all this to Lottie. I love you and I am quite sure you are not getting enough sleep. Take care....Mom
Heres my advice. Surrender! It all hit me at 3. Let everything that doesn't matter GO. It is almost everything if you think about it. Throw away the to do list and laugh with your kids. The sooner you do, the happier you'll be.
Seems like everyone one is experiencing a form of this situation lately...a couple days ago I was at a breaking point with Emma and finally just said to her "Emma what do you want to do that will make you happy?" and she said "I just want to play with you mom." That really hit me hard. So, I got down on a little stool and we made "cookies" at her little table, which was really just letting her play with sprinkles, flour and measuring cups and spoons. But she loved it, it's her favorite thing to do and we had a cookie party and I got to know her all over again! I think moments like that make up for the moments where we want to pull our hair out and I'm convinced that our children will remember those moments far more than they will remember the times where we nearly had a nervous breakdown! :)
I just started reading "I Hate it When Exercise Is the Answer: A Fitness Program for the Soul" by Emily Watts. It pretty much has 31 short "exercises" of how to be a good person/mom. (Like saying no if needed.) This book is her newest book, but she has other great ones too. "Being the Mom: 10 Coping Strategies I Learned by Accident Because I Had Children on Purpose" is also great. The books are published by Deseret Book, so I don't know if they would have them at a library out there, but it might be worth buying and then passing around when others feel the same way you do...because at some point, we all feel that way.
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