This weekend the kids and I sat down at the table and worked on these bird feeders. I found the little bird houses at Savers a couple weeks ago and had been waiting for a quiet morning to make them into bird feeders.
It was perfectly lovely. Just how I imagined having a house full of little kids would be. 
After we finished they went and stuck them into the the dirt in the front yard. Just perfect..
But most of the time things aren't like that at all. In fact, later that day I had gotten Ivy and Charlie to fall asleep and it was sunny and gorgeous outside so I wanted Jack and Lottie to turn off their devices and go outside. After some coaxing they finally did. The problem was they didn't want to do the same things. After a few minutes Jack was back and he told me that Lottie was over sledding on the little hill. So now I have my four year old alone at the park, chicken cooking on the stove top, and sleeping kids that I can't leave alone. I asked, demanded, begged Jack to go and just stand over there with her so she wasn't all by herself. (we don't live in a great neighborhood) He wouldn't. I finally told Jack to stay at the house and I turned down my chicken and walked over to be with Lottie. I found her walking off with two little 11 year old neighbor girls to who knows where...
So I dragged Lottie home crying. We walked into the smell of scorched chicken, Ivy crying in her crib, Jack planted on the couch in front of the wii and Charlie making a pile of unrolled toilet paper in the bathroom as tall as he is. And since I'm 9 months pregnant I did the only thing I could think of, I burst into tears and called John.
So I dragged Lottie home crying. We walked into the smell of scorched chicken, Ivy crying in her crib, Jack planted on the couch in front of the wii and Charlie making a pile of unrolled toilet paper in the bathroom as tall as he is. And since I'm 9 months pregnant I did the only thing I could think of, I burst into tears and called John.
As I get ready to have this 5th baby I'm feeling completely overwhelmed and incapable of being everywhere that each of them needs me to be. What could I have done to make that situation better? I have no answers. I just feel like life with all these little kids is totally impossible and it's only going to get more complicated when I'm stuck on the couch nursing most of the day. I want them to be able go outside and I want them to have some freedom, but I also have to keep them safe and keep the destruction of the house to a minimum. I wish it could all be peaceful mornings doing craft projects at the kitchen table but it's not. And it's just hard...
2 comments:
I totally know how you feel except I'm not going to be brave enough/young enough to go onto #5. I keep having these thoughts of "why the heck are we having another baby!?" I seriously can't remember why we thought that was a good idea. At 40+ wks pregnant, it is not a good time to be questioning that decision. I think Heavenly Father gives us the good moments to keep us going and the rest is just life and we do the best we can. And sometimes it just feels really good to cry about it and other times we can laugh. Mostly crying while pregnant though, huh?
Kids are tough. I don't know why I ever thought they would be easy. They are tough, but worth it. Just think that you are a good family bringing 5 kids into this world in a good home. Not many kids can say they come from a good home nowadays. You are blessing their lives. And on those days that are just too much to handle. Pray and eat chocolate and maybe watch a really funny show that will cheer you up. That's what I do at least, except I read a book. You are a very put together Mom even if it sometimes feels like chaos.If anyone can handle 5...it's you. I mean look at me. I'm still stuck on 3 and am terrified to go past that ;)
Post a Comment